April 6th, 2009 by banjomarc

I want to relay an event that happened to us as a band the other night. It was an important incident that went beyond what we think we saw right in front of our eyes.

On Saturday night in Minneapolis Two Many Banjos had a gig at the Nomad Club in The West Bank. With some time to kill we went and had a drink with our friends The Bitter Spills at their own performance at the 331 Club in Northeast.

On the way back about to get onto 35 we heard gunfire nearby. It sounded more like pops than movie guns going off. The car directly in front of us slowly crashed into a divider and then more gunshots. From the front seat the driver fell out and slouched motionless on the ground. After a few moments another passenger walked around to his body and two women got out of the backseat crying, screaming. We called 911 and after what was probably only a minute or two we drove off. We gave the police the information we saw and they said a squad was on the way. It was traumatic. Our gig after that was a tough one.

When discussing the situation amongst us we all had different versions of what we saw. The dispatcher asked me what color the car was. I saw it as white; Dave was sure it was black. Dave thought he saw the woman holding a baby, Steve said it looked like a gun. We also knew for sure the shots came from within the vehicle.

Dave found out this morning the car was beige and it was a drive by. Did I even tell her 911 the right license plate number? It all happened so fast how can I be sure?

While it was a terrible situation and we were all shaken up by it, it affected me in a way that had lasting effects outside the situation itself.

Let’s go back a little further, two nights prior. Again we are at a gig, our tour kick off night in Duluth. There’s no need to get into the gritty specific details of what happened because that’s not the point but myself and another member of the band got into an argument. When talking about it the next day it was still a heated debate. What was said, who said what, why they said/did what they did, etc. We were at a standstill. We “knew” what we heard with our own ears! How could we possibly be wrong? Are you telling me I’m deaf?

But what opened things up was the shooting in Minneapolis the next night. No matter how 100% positive we are about what we just saw with our own eyes, what we just heard, what was just said - everyone will have a different perspective. No one is right, no one is wrong. There is nothing that we can do to make someone truly change his or her minds about what is going on and we shouldn’t. All we can do is tell them how it made us feel. That is the only thing, as far as I can tell, that is accurate and real. You cannot tell someone that what you said to him or her did not make him or her think that way. No one possesses that right. It doesn’t make sense and it’s not possible to tell someone that his or her feelings were wrong. Unless, of course, you’re Obi Wan Kenobi.

Communication is key and so is trust but perhaps more than both those things is the ability to accept and listen to others viewpoints on the matter. We don’t have to agree and many times we will not. It’s great when we do though! This pertains not only to band disagreement but also, as I learned the other night, life and death.

If we are able to express to one another how someone else’s actions or words have made us feel we have done all that we can do. “You hurt me with what you said” as opposed to “you’re a liar and you are wrong”. One is acceptable – the other is not.

Life is a learning process – always be ready and open to gain knowledge from has happened. Hope for the best – prepare for the worst.

For more information along these lines I have to recommend the fascinating documentary by Errol Morris called ‘The Thin Blue Line’. - marc